Mrs. R.J. "Ride My Broomstick" Lupin (moonlite_fading) wrote in tasty_breeze,
Mrs. R.J. "Ride My Broomstick" Lupin

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Morton Salt Girl - LL

Title: Morton Salt Girl
Pairing: Luke/Lorelai
Rating: PG
Genre: Romance/Humor
A/N: This is my first all-dialogue piece. I think it's probably supposed to be shorter, but I got carried away. :p Sorry if it gets confusing. Takes place after Pulp Friction (boots are from Wedding Bell Blues).

“Uh, Luke, I haven’t told many guys that I loved them, but I’m fairly sure it’s not a good sign if he starts to laugh in your face…”

“Ah, I, uh… ha, I’m good now. Lorelai, you know it’s not like that, it’s just…”



“What about me?”

“…Do you have any idea what you’re wearing?”

“My sexy, sexy smile?”

“That… and workman’s boots.”


“Yellow rubber boots.”

“I think they’re sexy.”

“I never said they aren’t.”

“They’re a gift from you. You saved them through our, uh, dark period. It’s sweet.”


“But you laugh.”


“I thought you were gonna fall off the bed at one point…”

“Almost did.”

“You laughed… because of the boots?”

“There you go.”

“You laughed because I told you I love you… in the boots?”

“And nothing else, remember?”

“I’m sorry, but I’m failing to see the hilarity of this situation.”


“Damn it! This was supposed to be the most romantic moment of my life and you’re laughing at it! What’s wrong with us?”

“Nothing’s wrong with us, plural. You, on the other hand…”

“You do not want to finish that sentence right now…”

“Seriously, Lorelai, you’re being huffy. C’mon, put on a shirt and try again. I promise I won’t laugh.”

“Ungh. Fine, but I’m pouting the whole time.”

“Good, it’ll make it seem more Lorelai-esque.”

“Hey… I resent that. Okay, here; I’m all flannel’ed up.”

“Just the way I like ya.”

“Hey! …You stole my line.”

“Sorry, needed to give you another reason to pout.”

“Hmph, you mock. Stop distracting me.”


“So, Luke, I, uh – ugh, this was easier before…”

“Would you like me to go first?”

“No way! I get to go first. It was my idea to say it tonight.”


“Right, Luke, I am in love with you. Ha, there - I said it! I’m in love with you, Luke Danes. I’m in love with you - my burger-maker, my coffee-provider, the guy who builds me ice skating rinks and – and – didn’t send back the boots he got for me, even though we’d broken up…”

“I’m wonderful; I get it.”

“You are. Oh God, this is silly - I need a tissue or a Prozac or something.”

“It’s okay. I love you, too, Lorelai. I’ve felt this way for a while and I’m really, really glad you feel the same way.”

“Good. Hey, hee... does this make you my Morton Salt Boy?”


“The boots…”


“So just Burger Boy?”


“Fine, fine; I can tell when I’m not appreciated. I’ll just go and show my boots off to people who actually care.”

“Who are you gonna show at midnight?”

“Umm… you.”

“That, uh, works. But, you know… I’d kinda like to see you without the boots.”

“Yeah? Wow, smooth talker! Thinking you’re gonna get lucky again? Maybe you didn’t really save these boots. Maybe you sent them back after our thing and then, when we got back together, decided to re-order them just to pretend to be this wonderfully thoughtful guy, even though you’re really just listening to your –“


“Yes, Lu – mmph…”


ETA: Sorry about all the posts. LJ won't let you backdate in a community. It won't happen again, I promise.
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